In my previous post ‘The EPPP Exam & Earning Our Own Confidence, part 1,’ I shared the importance of earning our confidence by taking steps that lead to competence. I want to suggest that this same principle applies in many areas of life.
If there is a problem in our lives that we are trying to overcome, we must identify the steps needed to succeed, and equip ourselves with specificity to do the “right things” that contribute to success. The more we do this, the more there comes to be a reciprocal relationship between our confidence and our success: the more we succeed, the more confidence this breeds, and the more confidence we have, the more this conditions us to succeed even further.
This is the model we have followed in the materials and methods we have developed to train people to sit the EPPP exam. After identifying the steps needed to pass the EPPP exam, we take you through these steps one at a time. This includes simulating the conditions for the “real thing” in much the same way that a sports team will rehearse every possible play scenario. In the end, you should be confident that you can pass the EPPP exam, because you have earned the confidence in the same way that an athlete earns confidence through training.
The same dynamic applies to the relationship between parents and kids, employers and employees, therapist and patient. To build confidence in our kids, employees or patients, we can’t simply tell them, “I know you can do this” and then leave them on their own. Rather, we have to require them to succeed (perhaps only in little steps to start with) and then give them the tools to do so.
Put another way, we equip those we are helping by providing a road map that identifies the areas the person wants to become confident in and what steps are necessary for building up the competence that exists as a necessary precondition for confidence. As the person does only right things repeatedly to the point where he or she develops mastery, over time the mastery develops into a competence. This competence is the accumulation of developed capabilities, proficiency and expertise across time, place, person, situation, etc. As a result, success is achieved and confidence is earned.